Oh, so very confident,
in my freshly wet pipe dreams,
that in order of revelation,
and to skip further masturbation,
over the conundrums,

of me

and you,

and you,
of me,

I have distanced myself,

from you,

feeling quite shocked
from the euthanasia,
failing in the hurricane winds,
of ice and snow and spiteful gusts of scream,
fleeing mad,
into the night
away with, the blow job,
of life,

from desires and pleasurable suicide,

Oh, Hun...
we were a disjunctive symbiosis,
and today
I saw God,
when I happened,
by chance,
to open the door of indifference,
upon my own self!,
greeting and greeted with damnation,
by my own self!,
cringing in spectacular horror,
at my own very self!,
ashamed and raped
repetitiously

by my own self.

all mighty humbling shock, to learn
that the answers to life dangle,
around my own very mind,
meshed in sacks of flesh and blood
with the eyes of some man creature,
darkened deep into the shadows,
itching and scratching consciousness,
begging for rest from stimulated focus,

My rigid infamous beak,
shrivels up and exposes the wrath
protruding from my ego,
the inner demon
screaming,in carnal rage,
as my inner child,
frightened and dreaming,
rots away forever in this cage,

and the guilt is ripping
out the lining,that arcs downward,
engraving,
deeper with every smile,
wide open in every awe,
and screaming,
with all the fits of my existence,
to the pits of my lips,
which pucker gently,
to nuzzle warm elixir
from the succulent pure,
from the maternal and all loving
the meaning giving life,
an excuse to exist,
my happy lover,
cigarette,

ahhhh,

you naughty girl.

I saw,

and Im sorry,

and I miss you all.